hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
