Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
