I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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