She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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