I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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