Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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