Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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