I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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