so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
