Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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