I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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