remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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