Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
