3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
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I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
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Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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