Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
