I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
