did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
