And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
