i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
