i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Randomize
