well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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