Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
