Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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