Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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