check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I love you.
Bad choice
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