Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize