How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
