You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just made out with a guy for $7.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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