FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Randomize
