Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize