Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
