I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
this hospital has no fireball
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
