this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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