Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
