I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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