party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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