Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(904): View more from Florida

i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents

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(720): View more from Colorado

I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls

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(410): View more from Maryland

I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

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(419): View more from Ohio

All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS

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(301): View more from Maryland

Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?

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(303): View more from Colorado

Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?

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(607): View more from New York

Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?

(607): View more from New York

Nevermind, it's in the dryer.

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(410): View more from Maryland

Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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(469): View more from Texas

I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.

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