I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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