Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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