You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
