I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
