you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
