Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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