so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Sorry about my life...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
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