I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
