Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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