I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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