Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
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I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
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Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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