She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
