My brain says no but my pants say off.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
