Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
All I want is dick and wine.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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