worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
