I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
