It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I skipped work to stalk him.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
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we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
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The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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