Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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