That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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