he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all