Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
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The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
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I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.