She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?